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Post by BG on Dec 14, 2005 4:13:18 GMT -5
Lamps that clasp onto the edge of a desk
I can't say I'm a fan. No real reason, just everytime I have one of these, either the cord isn't long enough or it breaks. minus 1 bullet.
Consequently, my opinion gets a further minus 3 bullets. Y'know, for being boring.
Next: Sentence Fragments
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JE
Depresso
Posts: 67
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Post by JE on Dec 14, 2005 20:28:25 GMT -5
Sentence Fragments
Not sure. How I feel. Exploration. Of these phrases. Not quite sentences. Not quite single words, either. Casually arranged. When read aloud. Sounds like Shatner.
Shatner is cool. Plus 6 bullets for the Shatner associated, but minus 1 bullet for my poor execution of this concept RFO, which makes for a net gain of PLUS 5 BULLETS
Next: Morris Day and the Time.
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Post by VDeep on Dec 15, 2005 22:43:06 GMT -5
MORRIS DAY AND THE TIME Day and his back-up group serve up palatable R&B, with just enough soul and savvy to wedge its way into the big time. Day is undoubtedly the leader of the crew, not solely for his position as singer but for acting as a fulcrum for his band's talents. The reputation their live show has garnered them propelled them to the forefront of black performers in their generation, but their records maintain a decent crystallisation of their on-stage yeomanship. Perfect listening for anybody who thinks "shoogity-shoogity-shoop" is the core sound at the center of the universe. And who knows, maybe it is. Plus 3 bullets. Billboard is gonna wonder how they let me get away.
Next: Rocky and Bullwinkle
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Post by BG on Dec 18, 2005 22:04:53 GMT -5
Rocky and Bullwinkle
Let's just assume the movie never existed, everyone okay with that?
Alright, so Rocky and Bullwinkle....the main thing I remember is they always had two names for each episode when they did their little "Next time" bit. Unfortunately, I've forgotten most things about them.
But, it's always fun to make Russians say "Moose and Squirrel". Always.
Plus 16 bullets
Next: An antiquated slang term for dollars
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TB
Depresso
If you're attractive enough on the outside, people will forgive you for being irritating to the core
Posts: 81
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Post by TB on Dec 19, 2005 21:54:38 GMT -5
An Antiquated Slang Term for Dollars
Greenbacks. The only people who still use that word are either trying to sound clever or they're British. Come to think of it, they're most likely both.
Now, I do like dollars, bucks, cash, and even coin, but greenbacks sound more like a threatening swamp beast than something I would spend all day at a horrible holiday camp trying to earn. You hear that YMCA? You keep your greenbacks to yourselves! Greenbacks get minus 2 bullets, because even if they are just money, I don't get to see any for weeks to come.
Next: Blackboards
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JE
Depresso
Posts: 67
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Post by JE on Dec 19, 2005 22:29:21 GMT -5
Blackboards
Trufax: I have never seen a blackboard that is actually black. I've seen em green, I've seen em blue, I've even seen em dark gray? But black? Fuhgeddabaudit. All right, I can live with that. But then I went to college, and found out that the liberal academic establishment, with their many nerdy allergies, decided to do away with the whole idea of chalk and came up with WHITE boards and markers!
It's closet racism. Negative 5 bullets
Next topic: Samantha Claus
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Post by moniker on Jan 4, 2006 9:21:50 GMT -5
Samantha Claus
I'm not sure who Samantha Claus is, and from the lack of response so far I'm going to guess no one else does either. She's probably Santa's neice. That must be fun for her, +2 bullets.
Next topic: Dead-end jobs
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TB
Depresso
If you're attractive enough on the outside, people will forgive you for being irritating to the core
Posts: 81
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Post by TB on Jan 4, 2006 20:07:39 GMT -5
Dead-End Jobs
What I love about most dead-end jobs is that they don't know they're dead-end jobs. Even the Cracker Barrel offers so-called "promotions" to keep its high school employees from considering college and moving on to bigger and better things. The truth is that after you've been there for a while and passed all the OSHA screening, you get another star on your apron. After about 4 or 5 years of wearing holes in your shoes, not eating, and smelling like biscuits, you might get your 4th star. Ooooooooh. Does it mean anything? Not really, except that the 4 star people always go on weird power trips over the lesser employees. I (the single star) always had to clean the bathrooms because none of the 4 star people would do it.
Dead-end jobs get minus 8 bullets, because the Cracker Barrel sucks.
Next: Nametags.
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Post by JE on Jan 7, 2006 13:03:41 GMT -5
Nametags.
Have you ever been to a party and saw someone across the room who, for whatever reason, was complelled to cross the room and talk to said person? You may have come up with a clever line, and the person laughs.
And then you ask them what their name is, and find out you've wasted moments of your precious life conversing with an Adolf. Or a Constance. Or a Eustace. Ewww.
You feel dirty inside.
Nametags exist largely so that you'll never have to feel dirty again. PLUS 4 BULLETS
Next: The Motorola RAZR
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TB
Depresso
If you're attractive enough on the outside, people will forgive you for being irritating to the core
Posts: 81
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Post by TB on Jan 7, 2006 20:07:08 GMT -5
The Motorola RAZR
Now I don't know much about this, except that it's half an inch thin and costs somewhere around 500$, but the point I want to stress here is that the RAZR is without that annoying radio feature that I currently have on my Nextel.
*BEEP* Where you at? *BEEP* Dude, I'm in church. *BEEP* What the Hell you doing in church? Stealing from the collection plate??? *BEEP* Sssshhhhhh!!!
The embarrassing moments never end. Therefore, the RAZR gets plus 2 bullets, plus another two more because I really liked JE's opinion of nametags.
Next: MLK Day
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Post by moniker on Jan 9, 2006 21:58:03 GMT -5
MLK day
I love MLK day. It's always fallen either on or near my birthday my entire life. Which is great, because it means I get the monday of my birthday week off. What a great present from Martin Luther King to me. He's a swell guy. Plus 6 bullets for MLK day.
Next topic: spots
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TB
Depresso
If you're attractive enough on the outside, people will forgive you for being irritating to the core
Posts: 81
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Post by TB on Jan 13, 2006 23:06:10 GMT -5
Spots
Unless you're a cheetah, you're generally not supposed to have any. Spots on the skin can range from acne to the pox, and most of the time mean something is wrong with you. Spots on clothing aren't good either, especially the intentional "designy" ones. Those should just stay in the 70's where they belong.
Spots get minus 4 bullets, for being just plain cruel to your image.
Next: Green tea
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Post by BG on Jan 16, 2006 19:22:42 GMT -5
Green Tea
One of the British people I work with told me this joke:
"How come communists only drink green tea?"
"I don't know, why?"
"Because Marx said that property [property= proper tea] was immoral"
I gotta admit that joke made me laugh harder than it should have.
Green tea gets plus 1 bullet, I get minus 3.
Next: Ambidexterity
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JE
Depresso
Posts: 67
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Post by JE on Jan 18, 2006 21:57:12 GMT -5
Ambidexterity
There's a saying that goes that one should not let one's left hand know what the right hand is doing. That's all fine and well for people with one smart hand and one stupid hand.
But what if your hands are equally capable? It would seem, on the surface, that these people are more industrious. However, it is plainly obvious that the ambidextrious are NOT TO BE TRUSTED. Your right hand may not know what the left is doing, but NO ONE knows where an ambidextrous person's loyalties lie.
We can't risk them betraying America. We need to force the ambidextrious into a hand registration program so that we know who they are, and above all else, what they can do. Negative 8 bullets for these fiendish, unnatrual cads.
Next: Long Underwear
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TB
Depresso
If you're attractive enough on the outside, people will forgive you for being irritating to the core
Posts: 81
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Post by TB on Jan 22, 2006 13:16:36 GMT -5
Long Underwear Well, nobody looks good in it, but it will keep your limbs from snapping off in Boone (or so I hear). As ugly as long underwear is, having no limbs is uglier. So, long underwear get plus 5 bullets. Next: www.tabulas.com/~CJtheCheetah
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