A guy walks into a bar...

[MW]

So what's your best one of these jokes? Photoshops encouraged, but not at all required.

Here's another one of mine:


A man walks into a bar.



"Ow! Aggggh! My face!" he yells. "Why didn't anyone tell me there's a damned bar there! My mouth is filling with blood! I can't feel my teeth!"

[VDeep]

A man walks into a bar and orders beers all around.
They refuse to obey.

[TB]

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. "What is this?" the bartender asks, "some kind of joke?"

[TB]

A man walks into a bar and orders a drink while waiting for his friend to show up. After the man orders, the bartender looks over at Ivan, who pales and gets up. He walks out the back and throws himself off a cliff. The man's friend arrives and asks him what he ordered. With a frown, he replies "a white russian on the rocks."

[VDeep]

A man walks into a bar, and sees a rabbi and a pirate sitting at a table having a lively conversation. He asks them what they're talking about, and the rabbi says something in Chinese. The man asks the pirate what the rabbi just said, only to find that the pirate's face is on fire.
Shocked, the man takes an empty glass and runs to the bathroom to get some water to extinguish the flames, but upon opening the bathroom door, he finds that he has accidentally stumbled into the mouth of a sperm whale. He searches for a way out, and comes across a staircase behind the whale's left tonsil.
He walks down several dozen stairs and comes to a door adorned with a reproduction of the album cover from Boz Scaggs' "Silk Degrees" album. He opens the door and is now in a pitch-black area, eerily silent.
He feels around for an exit, but instead finds a light switch. He flips it and immediately finds himself in a noisy German disco, surrounded by hundreds of dancing Mike Tysons. "What's going on?" he shouts.
Suddenly, a mystical being appears before him: it hovers about 3 feet off the ground and is about the size of a phone book. It is colored neon orange and shaped exactly like the outline of the state of New Jersey, with no face or other discernable features. It communicates to the man telepathically, and while doing so, emits a powerful glow.
"Wake up, Jerry. Wake up," it says.
Suddenly, the man, who is named Jerry, awakens to find himself on a sidewalk with his friend watching over him. "What happened? Where am I?" Jerry asks.
His friend replies, "Oh, you just went unconscious for a while after you hit your head walking into that bar."

[BG]

A guy walks into a bar and says, "The Aristocrats!"

Everyone else points out that the reference is a little stale and dated.