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Post by BG on May 16, 2005 20:11:32 GMT -5
Okay, things have been a bit slow, so I'm kicking the board in the ass with a contest.
What's the best conversation-killer? It could be a single word, a sentence, or even an action.
My pick would be just very sterily and without any emotion whatsoever reciting the lyrics to "Sexual Healing".
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Post by MW on May 16, 2005 21:21:56 GMT -5
I do a pretty good job of killing conversations with this one-two punch after the other person says something:
1. A moment of silence as I stare at the ground 2. Slowly raising my head up and shrugging my shoulders
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lm
Depresso
Posts: 79
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Post by lm on May 17, 2005 8:06:46 GMT -5
we were talking about puppies the other day in the office and so i told the story of how i saw my dog get runned over by a tractor trailer when i was 11, and that pretty much killed that conversation...
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Post by Sean Jarrard on May 17, 2005 10:13:19 GMT -5
Three words: Voluntary Ocular Bleeding
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Taxi
Abbott
Posts: 14
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Post by Taxi on May 17, 2005 16:37:30 GMT -5
Staring intently at a heating vent for the conversation, then walking towards it slowly, bending over, and opening your mouth over said vent, with your eyes closed as if you are enjoying the sensation immensely.
I don't have friends.
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Post by BG on May 18, 2005 19:35:21 GMT -5
That's pretty bad, but obviously not bad enough to end the thread. That's the true test of conversational killing skills.
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Post by VDeep on May 18, 2005 22:46:38 GMT -5
I always want to use this one when a total stranger gives me a rhetorical greeting like "How's it going?" or "How are you today?"...
"Oh, not so great. I was inspecting my feces today and there were some solid white chunks present, and I'm not entirely sure what they are. At first I thought corn, but they're too big and white, almost like garbonzo beans, really, except I don't eat those much. Also, I've been drinking cranberry juice, and I have to say, it's helping my urinary tract greatly. So that's how I am, anyways, glad you asked!"
Why must I show such restraint?
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lm
Depresso
Posts: 79
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Post by lm on May 19, 2005 9:32:43 GMT -5
ew, that's really really gross. you probably wouldn't be able to finish the whole thing because the very mention of "feces" would end it. you could change it to poop tho, and they might stay up until "white chunks"
also, wtf? am i the only girl replying here?? if so, makes sense i'm the only one who finds that horribly disgusting
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TB
Depresso
If you're attractive enough on the outside, people will forgive you for being irritating to the core
Posts: 81
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Post by TB on May 21, 2005 17:24:14 GMT -5
I used to be a girl... but thanks to modern medicine, I can pee standing up without using a funnel now.
*Also, I find other phrases describing sex changes work just as well.
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