Post by VDeep on Apr 19, 2005 0:38:33 GMT -5
Schmidlapp was the dumbest cop on the force.
His first day on the job, Schmidlapp came up to his boss's desk and handed him a bag of candy. "A gift? What's the occasion?" his boss asked.
"What do you mean?" asked Schmidlapp. "I was just doing what you told me to."
The boss looked confused. "All I told you to do was patrol the midtown area and round up any law-breakers you find."
"Law-breakers?" Schmidlapp said. "I thought you told me to round up jawbreakers!"
Schmidlapp was the dumbest cop on the force.
One day, his fellow officer, Kent, was in for a promotion after capturing Ed "Staple Remover" Mahoney, head of the Mahoney crime syndicate. But the next day, Mahoney was not in his cell when he was to be transferred to a maximum security prison to await trial.
Panicked, Kent asked Schmiddlapp if he had seen Mahoney escape. Schmidlapp responed, "He didn't escape, I drove him to the airport and bought him a ticket for London, just like you said."
Kent was in disbelief. "You gave him a plane ticket to London!? When did you think I told you to do that??"
"Just yesterday... you told me we were gonna send him to Heathrow."
"You moron! I said we were going to send him to Death Row!"
Schmidlapp was the dumbest cop on the force.
His fellow officer Jenkins seemed upset one day. Exactly one year earlier was the first and only time he had to shoot a suspect. Instead his bullet struck a hostage and killed him. Jenkins had just returned from visiting the victim's grave, when Schmidlapp leaped out from the next room with balloons and a cake.
"Surprise! Happy anniversary, Jenkins!"
Jenkins was stunned, to say the least. "Why are you wishing me a happy anniversary? Is this some sort of sick joke?"
"What? But, didn't you get married this day last year? You said it was your first anniversary," Schmidlapp asked.
A tear formed in Jenkins eye as he sternly replied that it was the anniversary of the day he had taken a life.
Schmidlapp burst into laughter, saying "That is too funny! This whole time I thought you said you had taken a WIFE! Boy, is my face red!"
His first day on the job, Schmidlapp came up to his boss's desk and handed him a bag of candy. "A gift? What's the occasion?" his boss asked.
"What do you mean?" asked Schmidlapp. "I was just doing what you told me to."
The boss looked confused. "All I told you to do was patrol the midtown area and round up any law-breakers you find."
"Law-breakers?" Schmidlapp said. "I thought you told me to round up jawbreakers!"
Schmidlapp was the dumbest cop on the force.
One day, his fellow officer, Kent, was in for a promotion after capturing Ed "Staple Remover" Mahoney, head of the Mahoney crime syndicate. But the next day, Mahoney was not in his cell when he was to be transferred to a maximum security prison to await trial.
Panicked, Kent asked Schmiddlapp if he had seen Mahoney escape. Schmidlapp responed, "He didn't escape, I drove him to the airport and bought him a ticket for London, just like you said."
Kent was in disbelief. "You gave him a plane ticket to London!? When did you think I told you to do that??"
"Just yesterday... you told me we were gonna send him to Heathrow."
"You moron! I said we were going to send him to Death Row!"
Schmidlapp was the dumbest cop on the force.
His fellow officer Jenkins seemed upset one day. Exactly one year earlier was the first and only time he had to shoot a suspect. Instead his bullet struck a hostage and killed him. Jenkins had just returned from visiting the victim's grave, when Schmidlapp leaped out from the next room with balloons and a cake.
"Surprise! Happy anniversary, Jenkins!"
Jenkins was stunned, to say the least. "Why are you wishing me a happy anniversary? Is this some sort of sick joke?"
"What? But, didn't you get married this day last year? You said it was your first anniversary," Schmidlapp asked.
A tear formed in Jenkins eye as he sternly replied that it was the anniversary of the day he had taken a life.
Schmidlapp burst into laughter, saying "That is too funny! This whole time I thought you said you had taken a WIFE! Boy, is my face red!"
