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Post by MW on Feb 19, 2005 0:03:53 GMT -5
So, it opens this weekend. Is anybody willing to see it and let me know just how terrible it is? I'm more than overcome with morbid curiosity.
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Post by BG on Feb 19, 2005 13:17:18 GMT -5
I've actually heard that it's a decent popcorn flick so long as you forget there was ever a comic called Hellblazer. If you think of John Constantine re-envisioned as a dumb Dr. Strange, you can probably sit through it. That's just what I've heard.
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Post by MW on Feb 19, 2005 19:27:38 GMT -5
BG, if you go see it and say that same thing back to me, I'll go see it too. I promise.
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Post by Sean Jarrard on Feb 21, 2005 2:09:29 GMT -5
The final 20 minutes of Constantine involves a Blade style gunfight where John Constantine uses a shot gun that is shaped like a golden cross to kill demons.
It also has a scene where he uses a pair of holy brass knuckles to beat a guy to death.
Have I mentioned that Keanu Reeves isn't British?
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Post by MW on Feb 21, 2005 2:21:58 GMT -5
The final 20 minutes of Constantine involves a Blade style gunfight where John Constantine uses a shot gun that is shaped like a golden cross to kill demons. It also has a scene where he uses a pair of holy brass knuckles to beat a guy to death. Have I mentioned that Keanu Reeves isn't British? With the exception of Keanu Reeves not being British, these sound like good things. Things I would want to happen. Are you telling me that things I would want to happen are in this movie? Also, if there were pairs of holy brass knuckles available, I would buy them. Or do whatever I needed to in order to get them.
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Post by Sean Jarrard on Feb 21, 2005 3:08:15 GMT -5
I suppose as a varied collection of pretty cool scenes, it's not that bad. I just don't think it needed to be a John Constantine movie at all. It's kind of a waste of licensing money.
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Post by MW on Feb 21, 2005 3:29:34 GMT -5
Okay, I'll go see it, and every time they call him John Constantine, I'll just whisper to myself "not" and make him "Not John Constantine," a completely different and unrelated character to the one in Hellblazer. That ought to fix it.
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lm
Depresso
Posts: 79
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Post by lm on Feb 21, 2005 15:55:32 GMT -5
I have plans to see it this coming weekend. I will post about it from the perspective of one who knows nothing of comic books, but does quite enjoy supernatural throwdowns between the forces of good and evil.
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Post by MW on Feb 21, 2005 16:09:11 GMT -5
I have plans to see it this coming weekend. I will post about it from the perspective of one who knows nothing of comic books, but does quite enjoy supernatural throwdowns between the forces of good and evil. I'm looking forward to a full report.
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Post by SB on Feb 22, 2005 0:07:48 GMT -5
Ok. Constantine… Kenau’s delivery is that of a block of wood, BUT the movie is shot well and fun to watch. Goldcrosshotgun! Holybrassknuckles! I didn’t think it was going to be, but it is worth watching. But don’t take my word for it. Buh-dump dump.
(SB) Sean Bonstantine
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TB
Depresso
If you're attractive enough on the outside, people will forgive you for being irritating to the core
Posts: 81
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Post by TB on Feb 22, 2005 0:23:09 GMT -5
Honestly, I can't tell if the directors of that movie were idiotic, or just incredibly brilliant. One of my favorite scenes is the bathtub scene you see in all the previews... where Keanu is holding Rachel Weiss down in the tub so she can be special too. Only in the movie, she looks incredibly bored the entire time she's supposed to be drowning.... like "is this gonna take a while? Leno's coming on..." And Keanu... I haven't laughed that hard since I was a little girl. Look at me! I'm Keanu, I'm slightly annoyed at everything!
-Tricky British
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Post by BG on Feb 22, 2005 16:43:23 GMT -5
What if Keanu Reeves really is a good actor and it turns out that it's the rest of us who have bad taste? Kind of like that one Twilight Zone episode. With the gremlin.
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Post by BG on Feb 22, 2005 16:45:48 GMT -5
BG, if you go see it and say that same thing back to me, I'll go see it too. I promise. Oh, I just said I heard that somewhere. None of my money is going to that pile of pigshit.
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lm
Depresso
Posts: 79
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Post by lm on Feb 27, 2005 10:58:12 GMT -5
So I thought it was a fine movie. It actually had a plot, which was more than I expected. The special effects were really, really impressive to me. Keep in mind, I know nothing about the comic book except apparently there was one. I thought Keanu made an endearing John Constantine, but mainly because I find Keanu endearing in general. I liked the battles between good and evil and I enjoyed that guy who played the devil (he was pretty funny). The movie actually scared the crap out of me at some points and I'm suprised I didn't have nightmares last night. So, summing up, while it is not my most favorite movie in the world, I certainly don't regret seeing it-- and I thought it was definitely worth the $10.50 Marc paid so that I could see it. and I believe that with this and my comments on Hitch, I've probably ruined any credibilty on this massage board as a movie critic... ah well.
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TB
Depresso
If you're attractive enough on the outside, people will forgive you for being irritating to the core
Posts: 81
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Post by TB on Feb 27, 2005 11:34:48 GMT -5
and I believe that with this and my comments on Hitch, I've probably ruined any credibilty on this massage board as a movie critic... ah well. Yeah, pretty much. Endearing? Really? Nevermind that the spear was inexplicably in Mexico... I'm still working on forgiving them for that one. Toddy Barber
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